~manadrake

yea...its been 3 fucking years since I updated anything on DA. So I put some stuff up. Partially out of boredom...partially out of reaction to my anti-social behavior.

Just a snapshot to show that I am not -completely- alone and sad.

[link]

I have come to realize belatedly, and rather obviously, that my work doesn't sound the same in people's heads as it does in mine.

Contrastingly, I am trained in performance of literature...yet when I perform my own work people miss it and get lost because they do not have the words there in front of them.

So here is my question: Would anyone be interested if I recorded some readings and posted em some place in .MP3 format? or would I be wasting everyones time and my own?

I don't know...i've been making a lot more money than I ever had before...maybe not a great amount to some folks...but to me - a lot.

And...I don't spend it. I give it away, I buy people meals so they'll smile at me. It makes me think that maybe they see something, but all it is, really, is shock...that someone would go beyond themselves.

...i was in a convience store at 3:34 am, on break...some couple was fucking in their car at the end of the block, prolly some highschool kids or some drug addicted homeless folk...and the cashier hated her job and her life and she took it out on me...

Then a thought occured to me...why?

I don't know...and perhaps have never known, and been running all my life.

I read books. I play video-games, I watch movies for one reason, and one reason only...escapism. Because that morning was a microcosm for my life...if not the fucking perhaps the dream...

This guy at work tells me..."Damn Josh, you need to get laid"...a memory that occurred to me at that exact moment at 3:34, which regardless of relevancy struck me as something parallel

...its just that not everyone reads books, plays video-games, or watches movies.

So Jarks gone? Demoted?

What the fuck...

I mean, since I've been here Jark was the fucking icon of Deviant art. You saw more aliens than that little grey guy made of spheres.

..The next thing you know, Microsoft'll fire Bill Gates.

And then the nukes will fly.